Mothers Day

Its finals time and I just had an urge to write. Its mothers day tomorrow or rather today( its 1 in the morning currently). And i wonder how my mom is doing.

I remember thinking long ago, as a kid, wondering why there was such a holiday as mothers day....i think it pertained to the idea of not actually having that day off or any break. I just thought to myself at that time, "what a silly idea to celebrate being a mother." of course i worded it differently something along the lines of "mothers day...huh what do i do?" But now, i think i realized the awesomeness and the full capability this special day can hold. Its ultimately an excuse for celebrating the strength and love and the sheer awesomeness mothers have. I remember making little things for my mother in grade school, and i always thought it was dumb. "Why would my mom want some stupid paper thing i glued or colored in? I certainty would want something much cooler " I wonder now, if she remembers all my small gifts and if she really loved it or just carelessly threw it aside. I hope it was the first....

If you guys dont know, I am a mamas boy, and i am proud of it. I love my mother and I am grateful for being there and my upbringing, the sweat and tears she put into my life and he shear strength in overcoming the obstacle I put in front of her, the disappointments I put her through. I wonder if my mom knows that im sorry for the mistakes and troubles i put her through ( especially pregnancy..but she told me i wasnt much of a problem since i came out premature.....haha..) . As a boy its really hard to talk to our mothers heart-to-heart. Well, it is for me....so awkward....no? Maybe one day I can really sit down and talk to her fully....maybe when we're drunk together....HAHA.

Its been a while.

Its so easy to forget, even thing that happened almost on a daily basis. Its so easy to to get lost in the motions of things around you and completely loose yourself...like who you are. What is your identity! GAHH! Its like I was hypnotized! AHH! When everyone demands so much how do you answer!?! How do you figure out what the top priority is and what to do?!?! Do you bury yourself?(...the weight is unbearable..) WHAT DOO YOOUU DOOO!!!!
(....ok this almost sounds emo..and I didnt even intend for it to. haha I just wanted to say that Im back to writing on this blog after like 5 months of nothing..lol)
But really. its so hard not to become attached to the bad habits...or/and just not care.
There is not caring, being indifferent...then theres not worrying which is confidence....assurance....that the task will be completed.
Not caring is bad, it gives you a cold heart so its better not to worry then to not care at all.
We fall into this mindset of not caring very naturally...the only thing that stirs us is self interest...Im so selfish.
Then when this instinct of WANT takes over, greed and envy is introduced then comes obsession!...it gets dark pretty quick.

Woe is me, this world we live in consuming and I am one of its inhabitants...

Its hard to break free. Its a fight and its so hard.
Alas! I suffer!!...But is there something for this suffering??!?!
YES! There is!!!
Rejoice in suffering because suffering produces perseverance and perseverance produces character; and character, HOPE! Hope is good. I like hope. <3

Wowz..

I am going to be leaving in 3 days.....for MONGOLIAAAAA

Im very excited....

cannot contain this EXCITEMENT!!

it's very evident in my writing........

lol

Well now...im around 46% in my funding and im leaving soon....what am i going to do........I have no idea but im pretty sure it'll come through...

But I got to pack.....and in terms of packing for Mongolia....what do i bring? I think I need to go shopping lol

And I cannot absolutely get sick. OR ELSE!!!! ( ill be detained and quarantined at the airport)

The Swine Flu craze has swept the WORLD! PANIC! AHHHHHHHH

I think nothing will happen ( i think i jinxed myself)

Oh man I wonder what mongolian food tastes like. Hopefully it'll be good. I think we'll be playing rock paper scissors alot....to eat the food and to not eat it....when the mongolians arent looking of course. lol

But anyway im really excited to make some mongolian friends.....if my imagination is correct, ill be riding horses across vast plains, shooting arrows at targets hundreds of yards away, and wrestling fat mongolian men.

buuuuutt I cant forget why im going to mongolia!!

Tired....

I am so tired right now...

I havent ran a marathon or climbed the steep side of a cliff...but for some reason, I am physically drained. I wish there was some kind of energy shot i could just inject into myself so i dont feel like jumping off a waterfall. 

If the waterfall doesnt happen, just sleeping forever would be nice. It would actually be lovely.

Oh how tormented is my teenage soul! (im kinda glad im still a teen (19)) 

How it longs for rest~ lol

poetic! no?

over dramatic!~ HA

Le Sigh.......

But in all seriousness

I think i have never been so tormented. I have never been so physically and mentally drained. 

I think its because im preparing for my trip to mongolia. 

It is also because Im trying to prepare myself for mongolia~(theres a differance between the last two) I figure no ones perfect...soooo I, wanting to be a better person, try to get rid of bad habits, learn more about what it means to love, forgive and be compassionate(following a certain role model). This is hard -___-;;

 The effect i get from doing this : A life that is full and meaningful. I get to face struggle and hardship yet joy and immese pleasure. I am not trying to bend event that unfold to my will (i think that when chaos occurs) but try and bend my will into the event that are coming. So basically be more flexable :D

Sounds pretty easy....yet it is so tiring, so draining.....

Summer is HEAR

...ok the title is actually a typo but i kept it since it made me seem like i was implying something and made me seem smarter...wooo lol

Well anywho. Summers been....busy or what seems like busy. I dont know about anyone else but its been very hard to wake up in the morning. Alarm Clock effectiveness = ZERO! I dont know what it is but i just somehow grew the power to ignore it. So I just end up waking up around 12.....when my mom comes in to wake me......like elementary school...sigh.....shes not happy about that. lol So I wake up at 12 and just stumble into the kitchen and if im hungry i grab a bite to eat but its usually the water that I go for to revitalize my dehydrated organs. ( Yes I drown my organs in water before starting the day) Then I sit around for a couple of hours and do my own little thing usually consisting of a movie or tv (something of course mind numbing, it wouldnt be summer without it) then to my guitar and after strumming a few chords I finally take a shower. I look at my watch then and its 4........the day is basically gone.......ugh....im disgusted at myself at this point for killing the whole day. Then I start accomplishing things....but...........progress is slow............................................................................

lol 

Well recently i been reading blogs more than writing them myself.....usually architecture blogs but there are the occasional random one like........post secret which I think is very unique....i cant tell if its good or bad yet but its definatly leaning towards good but....how good? ( i dont know what im saying...i just like to rate things)

Writing feels good after not doing it for a while. :)

I just watch the new movie STAR TREK, and I have to say that after the movie was over......i became a star trek fan. :)

I also greatly enjoy Pie :)

lol random thoughts

I think Ill start writing every other day....or at least try to lol

but most likely i will....oh and i got to post up my final project :) which is awesome wooo

School....

Wow....Everything seemed to have been going smoothly. Everything ive done, everything ive made...i thought it was good at least notable...but i just got an email from my modes teacher (design) that im practically failing....Im pretty much at loss as to what to do....Well my modes teacher does hate me...and i havent uploaded everything on to Kepler (which is the place where everyone has to upload all their work )So....I dont know..it might be a plan to get me to upload it which in this case worked.....Math and humanities ive been not doing that great...But this has been a disappointing semester in general....Im so emo right now....sigh...and its 2:30 in the morning too....not a good time to be emo...I feel like im stuck in limbo right now.......Hopefully everying will work out...

Josh Lee sighing off.....................sigh....

My Cafe and the Slow House

As i said in the filler (or at least i think i did) Ive been busy making a cafe and making a digital model of the Slow House by Diller and Scofidio....well Ive come here to tell you...I AM DONE!
Yes for many moons i toiled at my computer creating this masterpiece, so ladies and gentlemen i present to you without any further delay, my cafe and the slow house!

Ok!~ so my concept for my cafe was Landscape (like topography) and contours (which are like layers or sections) Even though my chair has vertical contours i wanted to contrast it by making the cafe have horizontal contours. Those are my line drawings the second picture is my floor plan and the third one is just a section cut dividing the cafe in half. ( If you want to see the pictures better click on them :D)

The cafe was suppose to be in a 40x100x25 shell. So the first picture is the cafe in a axon view without the shell. The next two pictures are just renders of the inside, without any materials besides the glass floor in the main floor of the cafe. (I just told my crit the materials were concrete and metal :D)

Now for the Slow House!~
Im also pretty sure i talked about the house in one of my previous blog posts. Well...if i didnt...ill just give a small outline of what it is. Well first off its a vacation home! Made for a Japanese art collector but sadly the art market crashed making his art collection worthless so he had no money and no funding. The house was only built up to the foundation...its probably gone by now. But anyway Koji Itakura who was the art collector said he wanted a house with a "view" so Diller and Scofidio being the crazy artist that they were started questioning the idea of a "view." What is a "view"???? (well i dont want to get into what they thought it was so ill just fast foward or something...) This house sort of controls the "view" and causes slow arousal the farther you get into the house thats why its called Slow House! wooo!~

This house took me a whole night to make and i mean no procrastination. It was just like straight work all night for 8 hours. Then Jane Kim (my crit) just came over that morning and found fault with various things X.X She just enjoys owning me. Everyone just looks at me and shakes their head in pitty.......CURSE YOU JANE KIM!!!!!