Its been a while.

Its so easy to forget, even thing that happened almost on a daily basis. Its so easy to to get lost in the motions of things around you and completely loose yourself...like who you are. What is your identity! GAHH! Its like I was hypnotized! AHH! When everyone demands so much how do you answer!?! How do you figure out what the top priority is and what to do?!?! Do you bury yourself?(...the weight is unbearable..) WHAT DOO YOOUU DOOO!!!!
(....ok this almost sounds emo..and I didnt even intend for it to. haha I just wanted to say that Im back to writing on this blog after like 5 months of nothing..lol)
But really. its so hard not to become attached to the bad habits...or/and just not care.
There is not caring, being indifferent...then theres not worrying which is confidence....assurance....that the task will be completed.
Not caring is bad, it gives you a cold heart so its better not to worry then to not care at all.
We fall into this mindset of not caring very naturally...the only thing that stirs us is self interest...Im so selfish.
Then when this instinct of WANT takes over, greed and envy is introduced then comes obsession!...it gets dark pretty quick.

Woe is me, this world we live in consuming and I am one of its inhabitants...

Its hard to break free. Its a fight and its so hard.
Alas! I suffer!!...But is there something for this suffering??!?!
YES! There is!!!
Rejoice in suffering because suffering produces perseverance and perseverance produces character; and character, HOPE! Hope is good. I like hope. <3

Wowz..

I am going to be leaving in 3 days.....for MONGOLIAAAAA

Im very excited....

cannot contain this EXCITEMENT!!

it's very evident in my writing........

lol

Well now...im around 46% in my funding and im leaving soon....what am i going to do........I have no idea but im pretty sure it'll come through...

But I got to pack.....and in terms of packing for Mongolia....what do i bring? I think I need to go shopping lol

And I cannot absolutely get sick. OR ELSE!!!! ( ill be detained and quarantined at the airport)

The Swine Flu craze has swept the WORLD! PANIC! AHHHHHHHH

I think nothing will happen ( i think i jinxed myself)

Oh man I wonder what mongolian food tastes like. Hopefully it'll be good. I think we'll be playing rock paper scissors alot....to eat the food and to not eat it....when the mongolians arent looking of course. lol

But anyway im really excited to make some mongolian friends.....if my imagination is correct, ill be riding horses across vast plains, shooting arrows at targets hundreds of yards away, and wrestling fat mongolian men.

buuuuutt I cant forget why im going to mongolia!!

Tired....

I am so tired right now...

I havent ran a marathon or climbed the steep side of a cliff...but for some reason, I am physically drained. I wish there was some kind of energy shot i could just inject into myself so i dont feel like jumping off a waterfall. 

If the waterfall doesnt happen, just sleeping forever would be nice. It would actually be lovely.

Oh how tormented is my teenage soul! (im kinda glad im still a teen (19)) 

How it longs for rest~ lol

poetic! no?

over dramatic!~ HA

Le Sigh.......

But in all seriousness

I think i have never been so tormented. I have never been so physically and mentally drained. 

I think its because im preparing for my trip to mongolia. 

It is also because Im trying to prepare myself for mongolia~(theres a differance between the last two) I figure no ones perfect...soooo I, wanting to be a better person, try to get rid of bad habits, learn more about what it means to love, forgive and be compassionate(following a certain role model). This is hard -___-;;

 The effect i get from doing this : A life that is full and meaningful. I get to face struggle and hardship yet joy and immese pleasure. I am not trying to bend event that unfold to my will (i think that when chaos occurs) but try and bend my will into the event that are coming. So basically be more flexable :D

Sounds pretty easy....yet it is so tiring, so draining.....

Summer is HEAR

...ok the title is actually a typo but i kept it since it made me seem like i was implying something and made me seem smarter...wooo lol

Well anywho. Summers been....busy or what seems like busy. I dont know about anyone else but its been very hard to wake up in the morning. Alarm Clock effectiveness = ZERO! I dont know what it is but i just somehow grew the power to ignore it. So I just end up waking up around 12.....when my mom comes in to wake me......like elementary school...sigh.....shes not happy about that. lol So I wake up at 12 and just stumble into the kitchen and if im hungry i grab a bite to eat but its usually the water that I go for to revitalize my dehydrated organs. ( Yes I drown my organs in water before starting the day) Then I sit around for a couple of hours and do my own little thing usually consisting of a movie or tv (something of course mind numbing, it wouldnt be summer without it) then to my guitar and after strumming a few chords I finally take a shower. I look at my watch then and its 4........the day is basically gone.......ugh....im disgusted at myself at this point for killing the whole day. Then I start accomplishing things....but...........progress is slow............................................................................

lol 

Well recently i been reading blogs more than writing them myself.....usually architecture blogs but there are the occasional random one like........post secret which I think is very unique....i cant tell if its good or bad yet but its definatly leaning towards good but....how good? ( i dont know what im saying...i just like to rate things)

Writing feels good after not doing it for a while. :)

I just watch the new movie STAR TREK, and I have to say that after the movie was over......i became a star trek fan. :)

I also greatly enjoy Pie :)

lol random thoughts

I think Ill start writing every other day....or at least try to lol

but most likely i will....oh and i got to post up my final project :) which is awesome wooo

School....

Wow....Everything seemed to have been going smoothly. Everything ive done, everything ive made...i thought it was good at least notable...but i just got an email from my modes teacher (design) that im practically failing....Im pretty much at loss as to what to do....Well my modes teacher does hate me...and i havent uploaded everything on to Kepler (which is the place where everyone has to upload all their work )So....I dont know..it might be a plan to get me to upload it which in this case worked.....Math and humanities ive been not doing that great...But this has been a disappointing semester in general....Im so emo right now....sigh...and its 2:30 in the morning too....not a good time to be emo...I feel like im stuck in limbo right now.......Hopefully everying will work out...

Josh Lee sighing off.....................sigh....

My Cafe and the Slow House

As i said in the filler (or at least i think i did) Ive been busy making a cafe and making a digital model of the Slow House by Diller and Scofidio....well Ive come here to tell you...I AM DONE!
Yes for many moons i toiled at my computer creating this masterpiece, so ladies and gentlemen i present to you without any further delay, my cafe and the slow house!

Ok!~ so my concept for my cafe was Landscape (like topography) and contours (which are like layers or sections) Even though my chair has vertical contours i wanted to contrast it by making the cafe have horizontal contours. Those are my line drawings the second picture is my floor plan and the third one is just a section cut dividing the cafe in half. ( If you want to see the pictures better click on them :D)

The cafe was suppose to be in a 40x100x25 shell. So the first picture is the cafe in a axon view without the shell. The next two pictures are just renders of the inside, without any materials besides the glass floor in the main floor of the cafe. (I just told my crit the materials were concrete and metal :D)

Now for the Slow House!~
Im also pretty sure i talked about the house in one of my previous blog posts. Well...if i didnt...ill just give a small outline of what it is. Well first off its a vacation home! Made for a Japanese art collector but sadly the art market crashed making his art collection worthless so he had no money and no funding. The house was only built up to the foundation...its probably gone by now. But anyway Koji Itakura who was the art collector said he wanted a house with a "view" so Diller and Scofidio being the crazy artist that they were started questioning the idea of a "view." What is a "view"???? (well i dont want to get into what they thought it was so ill just fast foward or something...) This house sort of controls the "view" and causes slow arousal the farther you get into the house thats why its called Slow House! wooo!~

This house took me a whole night to make and i mean no procrastination. It was just like straight work all night for 8 hours. Then Jane Kim (my crit) just came over that morning and found fault with various things X.X She just enjoys owning me. Everyone just looks at me and shakes their head in pitty.......CURSE YOU JANE KIM!!!!!

Filler

Alright I been busy for the last 20 days...How busy? Very busy! 

Let me update you on whats happening to me. I been pulling all nighteres like they're nothing. Im practically explosive pooping all nighters out. (sorry for the visual image). But if i was to get lazy now, the only thing i would have is constipation and then pooping problems.....(ew more bathroom analogy's) 

Why have I been staying up continuously for many nights?: 

ARCHITECTURE!!!! 

Yes. Obviously that! What other reason but the love of my life! (ha only a workaholic would say that) The fact that architecture takes up now 90% of my life, i should receive some sort of......reward? Is it a good deed that I sucked myself into something so amazing? I guess not! Because Architecture is a reward on to itself!!! WOoo! ......<----loser

Ok Well anyway i been secretly doing thing other than Architecture (GASP) I know i know. I been taking discipleship training classes, this is the 3rd one this week. Its at Columbia and its very interesting, its alot of fun listening to these lectures. (No sarcasm here, seriously Discipleship training = alot of fun) Maybe I find it enjoyable since i look foward to it....

I really want to cook, its been driving me crazy...

OH and Abnaire is back! HEY ABNAIRE! HOWS IT GOING! LETS HANG OUT! :D

Projects are done this monday! ill have pics up soon

Back to Designing

Alright i feel like i strayed off the topic my blog, "Stories of Design". So i guess now ill go back to talking about my projects here at NJIT.

First: I got new profs or Crits as we architecture students call them, and they're fine except for my design crit, shes really....plain. What I just said might seem a little...mean?, well anyway, shes a jerk as well. Well Crits are suppose to be jerks but...shes a jerk when its uncalled for. oh yea. Did i mention shes Korean? Her name is Jane Kim, shes skinny, pretty tall, and it looks like she doesnt apply anything to her face. Maybe shes going for the natural look....ew (doesnt fit her..actually i dont know if anything would fit her)...she just needs some meat. Hmm wait maybe its because im Korean she looks down on me.... Who knows :/ maybe in the end i wont think of her in this way.

Second: My classes here suck. Math and Humanities...stupid. The professors are...i dont know what to even say....yes i do. My math teacher doesnt give me points on questions during quizes if i dont answer it how she wants it...even if the answer is correct. I cant wait for the end of this semester so i can just give her a bad review...(because here at njit, at the end of the semester we write how we liked the class and the teacher...basically...shes screwed)


Third: Im designing a cafe, and also researching this house called the Slow House. Slow not as in dumb of course, who would ever name their house the Dumb House? Its stupid, not even attractive in the least bit. But anyway, these are two big projects going on at the same time...its tough....The chair is the chair im using to base my cafe off of. Its called the impression chair. Its pretty....impressive...hahaha.....no? Well its really interesting, im currently taking the characteristics of this chair and making abstract models from it. Its really cool. Ill upload the abstarct stuff later...maybe....or ill just put it on facebook..or both. lol The other pictureis a model of the Slow house. Its pretty cool, the house itself was never build because the art market crashed or something and the client who wanted this house stopped the project because of no money...sad. Well the house is like suppose to arouse you...i dont understand how yet but the farther you go into the house..the more......"aroused" youre suppose to be....fun. So yea. I have to explain the ideas the architects had when designing this who by the way are amazing architects and artist: Diller + Scofidio. Look them up, pretty cool stuff.

Well...until next time~

Hmm..interesting

I found this on facebook, it was a note from on of my friends, i found it very interesting...

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning.


Commentary.

My confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, 'Christmas' trees.. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu . If people want a preacher, it's just fine with me as is the Memorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution, and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham (Lotz) gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by th is, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?'

In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bi ble says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing yet?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,

Ben Stein

It makes you think...no? Well it certainly made me think. People might say..What about people with other belief systems? Well...other belief systems might have other gods but they all have the fundamental ideas of Do not Kill, Steal Etc...right? Then people might say that not all kids are killers, right? Well..not all kids have been spared childhood spanking...lol. People in the end might say that we need to change....well I think that we HAVE changed, and the world we live in right now is the end result...

Tell me what you guys think~ wooo

What is Happiness?

Wow. For some reason the title sounds depressing...No? Well i feel like it gives off a certain element of saddness, like a small tear to my eye, as if a small orphan boy was pulling on the legs of my pants asking for his mother....overpowering?... unrealistic? Yeah.....well anyway the reason for this title was because while i was sitting in my room meditating and focusing on the life force around me (just kidding! i was just being otaku) I started wondering about emotions and how it makes us do silliest(or creepiest) of things! Im pretty sure everyone knows what im talking about..if not...i dont know what to say. 

But anyway Emotions: Good? Bad? Personally I would love to live without them in certain moments of my life. It would certainly make things less...crazy...but anyway I think emotions keep us human, and realistic. I makes us humble...if we didnt have emotions we would be absolutely FEARLESS. (If one watched the episode of "Fairly odd parents" where Timmy wishes he didn't have emotions one would find my statement true lol )...Well anyway what i was getting at with this was what does one feel when one is consumed by ones emotions (too many one lol). 

For Example....(Oh this is perfect) In the beginning of this blog entry i was talking about some orphan boy pulling on my pants leg, right? Well imagining that should tug a couple of heart strings and produce a feeling as if someone is squeezing your heart. Every emotion brings out a certain feeling. When one feels anger, despair, hurt, and laughter ones body reacts. But what about happiness? When I try to remember the feeling of happiness nothing comes up. (is it weird im thinking about this? i mean it doesnt help im writing this 3 in the morning...lol) When i try to feel happy, what is it im trying to feel? Dont confuse happiness with joy, they're different.

So in the end is happiness just a facial expression? A feeling of nothing? What is it? GAHH

ok 

anyway.........

Winter break was fun! Had fun with everyone back at home and im glad i got to talk to people i havent talked to in a while. Hopefully these friendships wont die out.

 I also learned alot thanks to Vision Conference and hopefully ill keep learning :D woo lol