A mEsS

Im reaching the climax of my project....i should be done with everything, yet...nothing I have is completed...its all roughly 90% done. Ive seem to have hit a wall..no nothing to do with my eyes,(see earlier post on asian eyes) but a wall void of any creativity. I seem to be unable to come up with any solutions as to what to do. Which is the main reason as to why everything is not completed. So to solve this problem, i did a little art, to free some (maybe trapped) creativity.





Haha. I made little clay figures, which now sit on top of my computer screen. Obviously encourageing me on. One of them is a snail. (I have no idea how that encourages me) and the other one is of my Crit. giving me a thumbs up! yay! haha

I dont know what my crits going to say after he sees it. Im guessing that he'll laugh.

Well tomorrow (wednesday), im taking my commons as well (like a midterm) and I havent yet started studying. Why? Because i have to build my project, which is due on Thursday....Tough...So im trying to manage both and i have to say its hard. Especially when you hate math...HOW CAN I HATE MATH! IM ASIAN! well i just do. haha

Well Newarks been pretty interesting this week. There seems to be drive-bys (shootings) going on left and right. One happened a block from my studio 10 minutes before class ended. Crazy stuff. Yesterday there were at least 4 helicopters flying around. It was intense.

Hopefully it wont continue and I wont be scared to walk down to subway....not that I am....

Well this hell will be over on thursday after I hand in my living cube! So thursday ill be going to hang with a certain Mr. Chan....

Moving on and things keep getting weirder

Ok....for whatever reason, I felt as if my last post was really....depressing (and EMO)....

Talking about my problems and ab0ut my thoughts? I think Ill save that for when im drunk( beacause it'll be really really funny)

Well anyway, there seems to be something weird going on. Let me explain. I was looking over the contacts in my phone, (something i do out of boredom) and I noticed several names that i dont recognize....Strange...

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(ok i was writing this 3 in the morning got knocked out after that last sentence.....haha so let me now continue)

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So it seems that im getting numbers out of nowhere, and Im too scared to actually call the numbers...so until the people actually call me, i wont even look at those numbers. Oh yea...and one contact was just...letters....wtf? I didnt even know you can type letters into the phone number slot....

As I have stated before, there are days when i fall asleep during studio, obviously from being tired. Its not really a problem, (which is how i see it) but there seems to be a trend going around in Studio. If a person leaves their desk and their computers on, you go put up porn as their background. So if a Crit. ever walked up to you while you were closing the programs (which blocked the view of the background). The crit. would obviously see it. Well, people started to do it to those who fall asleep too. Luckily no one was behind me, and i safely changed the background to normal. But it was interesting, my picture wasnt of a girl but of two Spanish looking males, discovering each other.....Was I excited? OBVIOUSLY...not... It was pretty funny though...

The sobe bottles, gatorade, water bottles and ginger ale cans seem to be multiplying on my desk...Mating with each other perhaps? I believe so.... Ill just wait for some inter-bottle marriages to happen. Hmm wonder what a Ginger-ade or a sobale tastes like?

Ugh..Im suppose to make a logo, which is also suppose to help me "advertise" my living cube which is my next project. I got to think of something cool....and by cool i mean asian

Almost done reading The ZOMBIE SURVIVAL GUIDE!

Yes i read it in the dark....because its not scary...

The Future

While attending classes, thoughts constantly run through my mind.

-What am I doing here?
a. Am I just wasting money?
b. Is college necessary?

-What is my goal?
a. Is my objective one that I have the strength to accomplish?
b. Who do I have to help me if I do fall?

-Am I happy?
a. Am I generally making friends and enjoying their company?
b. Am I lonely?
I. Need more friends?
II. Girlfriend?

-Is the major I picked the right one for me?
a. Am I enjoying what I am doing?

What should I have for lunch?


So ok..the last one was a joke...but that does generally run through my mind (and Im pretty sure through all of yours as well) But these are the thoughts I have during class when Im suppose to be focused on the teacher. Well Ill start on my first thought:

What am I doing here? To go to college! Am I wasting money? I hope not....but with the facilities and classes available to me, Im pretty sure ill get my moneys worth. The rest of the world now pretty much runs on a college degree. Without one, we're pretty much lost. But in the end all we get is a piece of paper(and knowledge in certain areas), telling us we can get paid large amounts....eh I like that :D But of course we'll have fun during this period in our life...right?

My goal? What have I set out to accomplish? MASTER ARCHITECT! Thats my goal. To create buildings, memorials, houses, shacks all so my name can be heard and adored! Yet... do I have the tenacity to accomplish what I just said? Can I lift this world I will create on my own shoulders? Or do I have to borrow some? Are there people around me who will willing give me their shoulders? I dont know...I never asked...but hopefully the friendships I create will be so close that I can practically share toothbrushes and underwear. :D

Did I find happiness? Am I comforted by the people around me? Do they give me a sense of belonging? I guess in a sense. I did find olderclassmen (or senpais) to talk to and befriend but no one really in my grade that I can generally hang out with. So I guess when Im not working, I do get a little lonely( unless theres people around) I guess this means I should make more friends...but people here...are weird. I know I too am unusual but alot of people here are from south jersey and...we just dont really mix that well. Theres alot of international students as well...but not the cool ones....just alot from mexico.....>.> So my range of friends is very small, just around a couple of white kids and very limited asians...Well anyway...now that Im here, living by myself away from the ever watching eyes of my mother (shes like the giant eye in the Lord of the Rings that sees everything, Sauron) Im free to...get a girlfriend...well not like I was not allowed before, its just hard to do things (not sex) around my mother. But do I really need one? Do I need a female to hug and hold, to make me feel squishy and soft inside, like yogurt? I guess I do. But not now. I guess Ill wait until someone shows up....or is that too passive? Should I go out and search? Should I ride out on my chariot of love, searching for the one i need?(corny!)

I dont know....


Am I happy as to what I am doing, training to be an MASTER ARCHITECT? Does this make me happy? I can happily say that it does make me happy. I enjoy it IMMENSELY. The hours I spend into the night creating visions and ideas in my head, bringing my imagination to its limits(if imaginations do have limits then i pretty much did it), working with my hands, and starving!

I love it all.

But then what will this lead us to? What can we look foward to in the future? Are we all just blinded by our imagination and the illusions in our head? Will everything end as nothing, or come out as something? Will we realize and succeed in our dreams or will they be crushed by our own two feet?

I have no idea...

Asian Eyes....

Gift? Curse?

While attending NJIT, I began receiving questions (jokes), mostly directed at my eyes.

These eyes of mine can be described as narrow slits. And so what are their purpose?

The Sun!

Advantages? : Many
Imagine a sunny Sunday morning. One walks to open the blind only to have the Sun BLAST the light waves and particles on to a very light sensitive eyes (after spending a night in darkness)

Suns Effect?: 0%

We as Asians seem to be immune to such things as bright sun..for we are already squinting...or so the white man has claimed.

So... there seems to be no need for hats or sunglasses because our eyes seem to block all light like a brick wall.

Sleep!

Advantages?: Many

Asians with their eyes seem to be the masters of illusions... Are we asleep or not? Are we all just sleepwalking from day to day, not knowing what our bodies are accomplishing while our mind rests? No one knows, therefore if one does fall asleep, the likely hood of being seen or caught? None

Disadvantages?: Yes

While attending classes or lectures a powerful feeling of sleep seems to take over. For the average white male, they have no problem with a little focus. Asians however seem to have a tough time...why? Our eyes seem to be closer together, meaning the distance is shorter, and every blink (or squint) becomes a fight to stay awake.

(I just take really long blinks during lectures...blinks that last for like 30 minutes. haha)

Driving!

Disadvantages!: Many

Alright all Asians can drive, no matter what anyone else says, its true. However, how well do we see while driving? Where could have this stereotype come from? Could it be from our eyes? Did the prehistoric white man look at our eyes and judge that we cannot see the road, therefore cannot drive?
Who know?

Cooking!

Advantages? : OF COURSE

We as Asians have dominated the culinary world. But with what exactly? Strange and mysterious foods never before seen or heard of by the populace of the world of course. I will now break it down into 3 groups which i believe to be the most popular

Sushi : The pinnacle of Japanese cuisine ( well i believe so) What is this made out of?...Raw Fish...EW! The rest of the world does not touch it! he he We keep it for ourselves :D

Bulgogi: Commoners food. Easy to make, and delicious, the white man relishes it. Wait...whats that smell...WHAT?!?!KIMCHI! EW! hehehe the white man does not know what hes missing :D

Sesame Chicken: Usually sold in a downtown Chinese take-out places somewhere. Where did this come from? From good ol' USA of course. The chinese immigrants decided that for whatever reason they could not make traditional Chinese food so they just decided to invent new ones. Still good... but whats in it? EW!!! CHICKEN!!..oh wait..what? oh :D yum

(ok that wasnt about eyes..but w/e)

Brains!
Advantages?: Yup

As Asian we must stick to the stereotype of being successful at whatever we touch. The phrase "Asian Invasion" comes to mind as one realizes how fast the Asians grew from building the railroads to owning businesses, stores, and eventually the international market. What is the cause of our success? Our eyes of course. Indirectly though. Small eyes=more brain space duh!

Unfair advantage? I think not!

Wow.. I seem to have somehow made this sound like Asians are superior among all races. IM NOT RACIST! I SWEAR! lol

But thats the end of talking about the design and functions of our eyes, lets get back to my life

Landscape: the best project i have completed thus far.

A park. Well more like a amphitheater. But if a there was a park that was an amphitheater id totally go hang out there like everyday.

Well now im moving on the the living cube. Basically a 8x8x8ft room (tiny) and it must meet these standards such as a bed 24 linear ft of shelving, a piece of furniture, and a work surface such as a desk. Sound easy? No. With such small spaces, getting designs to fit and fit well, is one of many obstacles we must face before this is completed. And the actual model will be made out of wood.....intense.

48+

Ok..Janets not commenting my blog...I was kinda waiting for her so that i can go on to my next post(because i have so much to say!) but....that doesnt seem likely(even though it was dedicated to her)

Well anyway.. first off. I been up for 48 hours straight again....to finish my project...but im still not done. lol. The project is landscape, (as i have been talking about in the last post) and basically i have to stack 30 of these 1\16 inch boards on top of each other which collectively become 2 inches. Its tough..alot of work and alot of glue....Well anyway. I been up for 48 hours but not neccesarily constantly working, i had to take care of some business first.

Such as Gethsemane. What is Gethsemane? Its a combination of all the Christian clubs around the Ny and Nj area. Well not all but just one that happens to spread to alot of different colleges, called KCCC (Korean Campus Crusade for Christ). And you dont have to be korean. I was just founded by a Korean guy....well i shouldnt say that, it was founded by a white guy who then brought it to Korea and the koreans just decided to return the favor. Its alot of fun, good people, good food (after we buy it ourself though..well we dont have to buy it if we dont want to but since we're in NY..and hungry) Gethsemane is on every friday at 7 on 59 st and something....its in a school called P.S 111. (Tried to get mr Chan to come but ....)

Well thats not what i really wanted to talk about but what happened slightly before. Not around that day but a little before. ok...here goes..

NJIT and Rutgers (Newark) has a joined ministry called JUICE, basically we come together, sing songs have fellowship and listen to a sermon(like a lecture but more interesting and meaningful..well at least to me) But as went there, this fob girl kept on trying to make me say hello this other girl (who is pretty ok looking) and i cant really tell if shes trying to set us up but i wasnt really interested. But me and this girl did happen to talk a little, all i can say is that shes totally not my type. lol She goes to Rutgers Newark and I went to NJIT, even though the schools are right next to each other, i felt like its kinda pointless too. But then one night after Juice ended(every thursday night), the fob girl just grabed me, placed me in front of the girl and said "Josh give her your number" and i was just thinking to myself "OMG WHAT IF THIS TURNS INTO A RELATIONSHIP!!(not shouting in my mind because im happy but because i dont want to have one..yet) But not to be rude and because i couldnt say or think anything in that second...all i could do at that time was just hand her my number....after that, i started to think about things more, and I didnt know what to do ( i think im horrible at relationships, dont know what to do >.<, im like a little boy in kindergarten that can only pull hair because i dont know any other way to express how i feel...well that's what i think im like.. lol). Well anyway the next day was Gethsemane and she usually went, so i was a little nervous at what to do when i see her. Well when i saw her coming, i saw her hands laced around another hand....a boy. Not just a boy but a skinny skater punk boy. I guess that was the type she was into. I didnt know whether to be disappointed or relieved as i saw them stroll happily down the street. I guess somewhere in my mind i really do want a girlfriend but i wouldnt know what to do....because...im a dork haha But while we're taking the subway to New York, i just see then all over each other...Public display of affection was everywhere...IF THIS WAS INDIA THEY WOULD BE SCREWED! lol. Well seeing them "cuddle" each other, kinda made me want to cuddle too...so.... i hugged my friend who was next to me, and then sat down and closed my eyes for the next 20 minutes..lol (everyone thought i was sleeping) But throughout my night, my eyes just kept on just straying to them. and it made me kinda angry...maybe i should get one of those things that horses wear so they can see in only one direction.......haha
(This is not a cry out to the internet world for a girlfriend by the way)

Studio/Dorm/Penis Piercings

Ok...Janet wanted to know about my life, my social life...here at NJIT...Newark, NJ.... lol, because I guess im selfishly holding it to myself. XP
Well i sort of have one...and dont....So let me share :)

Alright. First things first... Penis piercing.... I did not get one. But someone in my studio did...well a couple of people did. They all decided to get one...hopefully im not next...Well anyway, im telling you guys all this because one guy decided to show his penis....and his piercing....So yeah... my penis is now on lock down...not coming out...maybe not ever.

Living in Dorm.....Theres not much to it..Well for the occasional party that happens in my suitmates dorms. (They decided to put up blacklights and get a beer pong table) Its like a sex chamber in there. lol (its 2 in the morning, just a bit tired,might be alittle weird, cut me some slack) Well to say that its a sex chamber is not really correct, its just i like the word...its just funny. lol >.> Well anyway, i just come back to my dorm 3 in the morning, and they're just passed out on their beds, the whole place smelling like beer and sweat...and throw up.....Not very pleasant but they're pretty good people. I enjoy their company.

My Roomate is actually a pretty cool person. Hes fun to talk to, doesn't smell, not weird, and an athlete. So basically hes me...but white, hot, and has a body of a roman god.
He plays tennis, plays the guitar, an architect, and single.

Hes up for grabs if anyones interested. lol

Well anyway. The last thing we did together before architecture took us both over was this penguin prank. We basically stood in the elevator in complete silence, markers on our faces, and a penguin...just standing there. Honestly no one could hold their faces. It was horrible. For the first five seconds it was all quite. No one knew what was going on. Then after about 10 seconds. You just heard snickering and the whole elevator started cracking up. It was amazing. ( I wasnt the penguin, I took the picture)

Imagine a room full of supplies and bored teenagers. Its about 3 in the morning....its time to fool around. lol. At that time everyones just frantically trying to finish their work, playing games on their computers, eating, or fooling around with the supplies...you know the usual, making body parts, pretend guns or boomerangs.....lol

Well I guess ill talk about my project now since i just cant hold it back anymore. I talked about my painting and how we're suppose to make it abstract and such, well turns out we're making landscape (dont remember if i told you guys that part). So im making a model which was inspired by the artwork that i picked. Well, im completely left brained....(since im a lefty as i already ranted about) So everything i create is...just practical. It took me 4 models but i think i got it, but its still not what "I" want. Being abstract...is very difficult...like building models is easy, just put stuff together and youre done. But trying to show a feeling or an idea is the hardest thing to do especially with structures. (and i guess art too but i think its easier) So trying to show a feeling that i want to bring out...its not going right right now. Hopefully i can figure out a way. Oh yeah, my model has to be landscape (which is TOUGH) and its of a park. Like people go and hang out park. But my Crit. doesnt want like a nice Jersey/ Mass. Park but like a CRAZY one. Something that stands out....>.<

A new Project

The picture on the right is by an artist named Wassily Kandinsky, (hes russian) Its an abstract painting done in oil on carboard. Well why am i talking about a russian artist? Im in architecture right??

Well I have to use this painting (everyone got a different painting, by different artists, or the same) and make it abstract.......(but the problem is...the painting is already abstract) So basically i have to pull it apart and make it more abstract using photoshop.....But I have never used photoshop before...so it was bit of a struggle. But after talking to my prof for a long time,( probably annoying him) and everyone else in my studio ( i asked everyone else to teach me lol)

After a night of creating abstract pictures, i also had to put them into a power point, with my analyses of the painting. However no matter how i searched google, only one link with the actual picture showed up.(Other websites turned up his more famous pieces) So really no info on this painting.

So i made about only 6 slides...everyone else made more than i did, or if they did make the same amount it was certainly better than mine. I guess you can say when it comes to presenting.... i really really suck...just public speaking...

So anyway...In the end. I screwed up my presentation. Totally my fault for not researching more

but i still justify myself for being bad since i can never present well... lol

Oh yeah and i went to B&N (Barnes and Nobles) and got me Voyage of Slaves, the third book on a series called "Castaway of the Flying Dutchman" By....BRIAN JACQUES! lol the same guy who wrote Redwall. Unfortunately, in this book..theres no Hot Root Soup , Deeper n Ever pie, Candied Chestnuts or strawberry Cordial(sadly) but this book is still fun to read.

Oh yeah and there are actual recipes for making redwall foods (for those who know what im talking about) :)